Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors of economy in the US in between the year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, number of jobs in manufacturing sector has declined with time. Whereas, jobs in healthcare and retail sectors has been inclined by the end of the period. However, agricultural jobs gradually fallen.
To begin with, employment in manufacturing sector was at peak initially approximately 15 jobs in 1960. It reached the highest of 20 jobs in 1980 before declining to around 13 jobs by the end of the period. However, healthcare sector was at lowest at around just 2 jobs in millions in the beginning in employment rate than other kind of sectors, nevertheless, it climbed siginificantly and overtook agriculture at accounted at more than 15 jobs in the end.
Moving towards to the retail sector, it followed the same trend as healthcare and showed some fluctuations with time and reached 15 jobs in 2000. Thereafter, it reached the peak around 16 jobs by 2020. Although agriculture sector stated from 6 jobs same as retail but showed the declined.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, you mention '15 jobs' and '20 jobs' without clarifying that these figures represent millions, which is a significant omission. Furthermore, the description of the agricultural sector is confusing; you state it started at 6 jobs, but the graph shows it starting much higher. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the failure to consistently include units (millions) limits the clarity of the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'To begin with', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the healthcare and retail sectors is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'same as retail' when comparing agriculture, which makes the comparison difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that comparisons are explicitly stated would enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'jobs' and 'sectors'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'inclined by the end' (should be 'increased') and 'accounted at' (should be 'accounted for'). Spelling errors like 'siginificantly' and 'stated' (instead of 'started') also detract from the overall quality. To improve, focus on using more varied verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'plummeted', and ensure you use the correct terminology for data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('jobs... has been inclined') and missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'). There are also awkward phrasing choices, such as 'in between the year 1960 to 2020', which should be 'between 1960 and 2020'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and tense usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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