Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph provides information about the numbers of jobs in the manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear from the graph that the number of jobs in the retail and healthcare sectors shows the upward trend, whereas in the manufacturing sector it rises slightly at first before decreasing steadily over the period. Furthermore, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector slowly decline throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing jobs stand approximately 15 millions before it reached to 20 millions jobs in 1980. After 1980, this figure fell dramatically to around 13 millions job in the last year. In addition, the number of jobs in the agriculture field declined moderately over the period.
In the retail sector, first four decade it increased gradually till 2000 where it accounted around 15 million jobs. After 2000, it remained stable to the end of the year. Meanwhile, in the healthcare sector it started at around 3 million jobs before reaching a peaked of 17 million at the last year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent. For instance, the statement that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980 is inaccurate based on typical interpretations of such graphs, and the description of the retail sector as remaining 'stable' after 2000 is a slight misreading of the trend. While the overview is clear, the data selection lacks precision in some areas, and the comparison between sectors could be more explicitly developed to highlight the shifting economic landscape of the US.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Meanwhile' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the progression of the report. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid rather than relying on simple sentence-initial connectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of the trends. You use some appropriate terms like 'upward trend', 'declined moderately', and 'accounted for'. However, there are several errors in word form and collocation, such as 'reached a peaked' (should be 'reached a peak') and '15 millions' (should be '15 million'). These errors do not impede communication but prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and adverbs would help to provide a more sophisticated analysis of the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'jobs... shows the upward trend' and 'first four decade it increased'. Additionally, there are issues with tense consistency, such as 'manufacturing jobs stand' instead of 'stood'. While you attempt complex sentences, the frequency of these minor errors limits the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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