Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data on the number of employment, measured in millions in four sectors of the economy in the US namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It is clear that the manufacturing sector remained the most popular in the past, showing a gradual fall. In contrast, employment in retail and healthcare sector experienced the opposite trend over the period.
At the beginning, In 1960, jobs in the manufacturing sector was stood at 15 million, this figure rose to 20 million before declining to 12 million in 2020. Meanwhile, jobs in the retail sectors recorded just about 6 million in 1960, while, the agriculture sector was the lowest at approximately 1 million, then, both sectors significantly rose to 16 million by overtaking the manufacturing by the end of the period.
The figure for the healthcare sector followed the downward trend starting at 6 million jobs which continuously declined to 1 million in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state the healthcare sector declined to 1 million, whereas the graph shows it rising significantly. Additionally, you claim agriculture started at 1 million and rose to 16 million, which misinterprets the visual data. While you attempt to highlight main features, these factual errors mean the information is not accurately reported. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the graph axes and labels to avoid misrepresenting the data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'At the beginning', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or are used incorrectly (e.g., 'At the beginning, In 1960'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal logic within the third paragraph is hampered by the data inaccuracies mentioned previously. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the specific details, which helps the reader follow the structure of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'employment', 'sectors', and 'gradual fall'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment levels') and 'retail and healthcare sector' (should be plural 'sectors'). You attempt to use some descriptive language, but the range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that nouns and verbs agree in number when discussing data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the manufacturing sector was stood at' (passive voice error), 'retail sectors recorded just about' (subject-verb agreement), and 'the healthcare sector followed the downward trend' (which contradicts the graph). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with comma usage and capitalization (e.g., 'Overall, It is clear'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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