Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data on the number of people employed, measured in millions in four sectors of the economy in the US namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It is clear that the manufacturing sector remained the most popular in the past, showing a gradual fall. In contrast, employment in the retail and healthcare sector experienced the opposite trend over the period.
At the beginning, In 1960, jobs in the manufacturing sector stood at 15 million, this figure rose to 20 million before declining to 12 million in 2020. Meanwhile, jobs in the retail sector recorded just about 6 million in 1960, while the agriculture sector was the lowest at approximately 1 million, then, both sectors significantly rose to 16 million by overtaking the manufacturing by the end of the period.
The figure for the healthcare sector followed the opposite trend starting at 6 million jobs which continuously declined to 1 million in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key movements in the four sectors. However, there are some factual inaccuracies regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, you stated that the healthcare sector declined to 1 million, whereas the graph indicates it rose significantly. Additionally, you mentioned that retail and agriculture overtook manufacturing, but the data shows agriculture remained relatively low compared to the other sectors. To improve, ensure that your data reporting is precise and that you double-check the labels and trends before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'In contrast', and 'At the beginning' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors based on their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased) rather than just listing them. The referencing is generally clear, but ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother to avoid a list-like feel.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'remained', 'declining', and 'overtaking'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly imprecise, such as describing a sector as 'popular' when referring to employment numbers. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations related to data trends, such as 'witnessed a steady decline' or 'experienced a significant surge', rather than relying on simpler verbs like 'rose' or 'fell'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as comma splices ('...at 15 million, this figure rose...') and minor punctuation issues. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions more accurately to connect independent clauses and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the text. Proofreading for these small slips will help increase your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.