Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of people employed, measured in millions, in four sectors of the US economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing sector was the largest sector at the beginning of the period, although it showed an overall decline. In contrast, employment in the retail and healthcare sectors experienced the opposite trend over the period, while agriculture declined continuously.
In 1960, jobs in the manufacturing sector stood at 15 million. This figure rose to 20 million before declining to around 13 million in 2020. Meanwhile, the number of jobs in the retail sector stood at about 6 million in 1960 and then rose significantly to around 16 million by the end of the period, overtaking manufacturing.
The figure for the healthcare sector followed a similar upward trend, starting at approximately 2 million jobs and rising continuously to around 16 million in the final year. In contrast, employment in the agriculture sector showed a downward trend, declining to approximately 2 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response effectively addresses all requirements of the task. You have provided a clear overview of the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. Key features are selected and supported with relevant data points from the graph, such as the 15 million starting figure for manufacturing and the 16 million peak for retail. The comparisons between sectors are well-integrated, and the information is accurate. To reach a higher band, ensure that you consistently highlight the most significant differences or intersections between the lines, such as the specific point where retail overtook manufacturing, which you successfully identified.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. The progression of ideas is smooth, moving from the general overview to specific sector details. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'In the final year', which help guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different sectors. The structure is coherent, and the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow without any confusion or mechanical repetition.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information with precision. Phrases like 'overall decline', 'upward trend', and 'overtaking manufacturing' are used accurately and naturally. The vocabulary is appropriate for an academic report. While the range is good, incorporating a few more sophisticated collocations or varied synonyms for 'rising' and 'declining' would enhance the lexical variety. For instance, using terms like 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'gradual contraction' would add more nuance to your descriptions of the trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The response displays a good command of grammatical structures. You have successfully used a mix of simple and complex sentences, such as the introductory complex sentence and the comparative structures in the second paragraph. Punctuation is accurate, and there are no significant errors that impede communication. The majority of your sentences are error-free. To move toward a higher band, you could experiment with more varied sentence structures, such as using participle clauses (e.g., 'Starting at 2 million, the healthcare sector rose...') to improve the flow and demonstrate greater grammatical flexibility.
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