Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors in United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector accounted for the highest number of job in US. Although, healthcare sector offered lowest number of jobs in 1960, it rose steadily and reached its peak in 2020.

To begin with, there were 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector in 1960. As time passed, it reached to 20 million in 1980 but it started declining and remained almost 13 million by 2020. In contrast, retail sector started at approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 and it moved steadily in upward position until it reached 15 million in 2000. After that, the number of employments remained almost same till 2020.

Further analyzing the data, the number of job in agriculture sector were remained same as of retail but it started decreasing continuously until it remained around 3 million in 2020. However, the number of jobs accounted for healthcare were lowest among other sectors in 1960 which is around 3 million. It increased in a constant speed and reached nearly 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and selects relevant data points to support the description. You successfully identified the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in the healthcare sector. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated that manufacturing accounted for the highest number of jobs throughout the period, but the graph shows it was overtaken by other sectors toward the end of the period. To improve, ensure your summary accurately reflects the entire timeframe. The data is generally well-selected, but ensure that comparisons are more explicit to highlight the differences between sectors more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Further analyzing' are used to guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'the number of job' is repeated frequently, which affects the flow. To reach a higher band, try to vary your cohesive devices and use more sophisticated referencing to link ideas more fluidly between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'declining', and 'upward position'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment figures') and 'increased in a constant speed' (should be 'at a constant rate'). Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors in word forms, such as 'number of job' instead of 'number of jobs'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure consistent pluralization.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include 'the number of job in agriculture sector were remained' (should be 'the number of jobs in the agriculture sector remained') and 'accounted for healthcare were lowest' (should be 'accounted for by the healthcare sector was the lowest'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Increasing your focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your score.

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