Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares information about the number of jobs in millions in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and health care sectors  grew continuously and shared the same figure at the end. By comparison, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector experienced a downward trend, although there was a slight increase in 1980. In agriculture sector, the number employement dipped in 1980 and remained remained relatively stable till 2020.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was at almost 15million, while retail and agriculture sectors stood at rouglyly 6 million. Healthcare sector had only about 3 million employments.

In 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector rose to nearly 20 million before declining consistently till 2020 and accounted for about 14million jobs. By constast, retail and health care sector grew steadily. In 2010, the number of employment overtook manufacturing sector and increased steadily till 2020 and stood at about 16million jobs.

By contrast, in agriculture sector, the number of jobs dropped to roughly 4million in 1980, remained stable in 2000 before a minimal drop in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise; for instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'shared the same figure at the end' is a good observation, but the timeline references are sometimes confusing, such as the claim that employment in 2010 overtook manufacturing, which lacks clarity regarding the specific sectors involved. To reach a higher band, ensure that all comparisons are explicitly linked to the correct sectors and time periods.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group information by sector trends. You use cohesive devices such as 'By comparison,' 'In 1960,' and 'By contrast' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a distinct thematic group rather than jumping between time periods and sectors. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between the third and fourth paragraphs is slightly disjointed due to the way the data is sequenced.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend,' 'remained relatively stable,' and 'steadily.' There are, however, several spelling errors and minor word-choice inaccuracies, such as 'rouglyly' (roughly), 'employement' (employment), and 'constast' (contrast). These errors do not impede communication, but they do prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling and ensuring that collocations, such as 'number of employment,' are corrected to 'number of employees' or 'employment levels.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences to describe trends, there are recurring grammatical errors, such as 'remained remained' (repetition) and 'number of employment' (incorrect noun usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing spaces after commas and periods in several places. The majority of your sentences are clear, and the errors do not significantly impede the reader's understanding, but more consistent control over subject-verb agreement and article usage is needed for a higher score.

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