Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line chart illustrates the information of the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 .The data has been calibrated in numbers (millions).
Overall, after proper scanning it is quite evident that Healthcare remain at increasing demand, whereas agriculture showed decreasing trend.
To begin, in year 1960 the number of jobs in Manufacturing sector remained at 15 million. This figure was surged till the year 1990 and fell down till the end of the period in the year 2020 at the around 12.5 million jobs. Furthermore the jobs in the sector of Retail was at around 5 million in the year 1960 and this figure was steadily increased till the end of period at more than 15 million jobs. Moreover making it the highest jobs producing sector.
Moving towards the further details, the jobs in the sector of agriculture showed opposite trend and was around 5 millions in the starting at period and was decreased till the end in the year 2020 at less than 5 million. Moreover, the healthcare jobs in year 1960 was around million and steadily rose till the end of period in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat limited by inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention agriculture was 'around 5 millions' and 'decreased till the end', but the graph shows a more nuanced decline. Additionally, the healthcare data is missing a specific starting figure, stating only 'around million'. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are precise and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly drawn to highlight the 'main features' as required by the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin', 'Furthermore', and 'Moving towards the further details' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to connect the trends across the different sectors more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated', 'sectors', and 'economy'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'This figure was surged' (should be 'surged') and 'highest jobs producing sector' (should be 'job-producing sector'). There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptors. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Healthcare remain at increasing demand' (should be 'remains in'), 'at the around 12.5 million' (should be 'at around'), and 'in year 1960' (should be 'in the year 1960'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of control over articles and subject-verb agreement. Increasing the accuracy of these basic structures is essential for a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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