Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, a cursory glance at the graph indicates that number of jobs in manufacturing sector showed a steep decline over the given period although it was the highest at the begining of the period. The figures for retail and healthcare increased while agricultrure remained stable after a gradual decrease at the start of the period.
The number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased steeply throughout the period. In 1960 almost 2.5 million jobs were in healthcare sector that rose to approximately 15 millio by 2020. This number in retail sector was just above 5 million in 1960, which increased dramatically over the fourty year period and overlapped with that of healthcare in 2020.
In contrast, the figure for manufacturing was 15 million in 1960 which showed an increase to 20 million in 1980. After that, this value dipped down around 14 million at the end. Agriculture started at 6 million in 1960 that decreased to 4 .5 million in 1980 and remained at this level for the rest of the years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you state manufacturing dipped to 14 million, but the graph shows it closer to 10 million. Additionally, the claim that retail and healthcare 'overlapped' in 2020 is not supported by the visual data, as the lines remain distinct. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that comparisons are strictly based on the provided graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different trends. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'After that', and 'although' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother; some sentences feel slightly disconnected. Overall, the information is presented in a coherent manner that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'steep decline', 'gradual decrease', and 'remained stable'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'begining', 'agricultrure', and 'fourty', which are minor but noticeable. You also use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'number of jobs' and 'increased'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated') and ensure greater attention to spelling accuracy to avoid distracting the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'the number of jobs in manufacturing sector' (missing 'the'), 'at the begining of the period', and 'this value dipped down around 14 million'. There are also minor punctuation issues, such as the spacing in '4 .5 million'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and prepositional accuracy will help improve your control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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