Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

THE MULTI LINE CHART DEPICT THE INFORMATION OF THE JOBS IN FOUR DIFFRENT CATEGORIES IN THE ECONOMY OF THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020. THESE SECTORS ARE MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE. THE DATA ARE GIVEN AS IN MILLONS.

OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THE HIGHEST JOBS ACCOUNTED BY HEALCARE SECTOR. WHILE THE LOWEST JOBS REGISTERD UNDER THE AGRICULTURE CATEGORY.

TO BEGIN WITH. IN THE YEAR 1960 15 MILLIONS OF JOBS REGISTERD UNDER THE MANUFACTURING SECTOR. IN ADDITION, IT WENT UP AROUND 5 MILLIONS AFTER TWO DECADS. MOREOVER, IN 1980 TO 2020 IT WAS GRADUALLY DECREASED APPROXIMATELY 14 MILLIONS. HOWEVER, IN THE RETAIL SECTORE THE JOBS WERE ALLOCATED AROUND 6 MILLIONS IN 1960.AFTER THAT, THE FIGURE WAS MODERATELY INCREASED AT 15 MILLIONS AFTER FOUR DECADS. HOWEVER, IN 2020, IT WAS SLIGHTLY RISE ABOUT 16 MILLIONS.

TURNING TO THE REMAINING INFORMATION, THE AGRICULTURE SECTOR ACCOUNTED BY THE JOBS ABOUT 6 MILLIONS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is incomplete. You identified the four sectors and provided some data points, but the description of the healthcare sector is entirely missing from the body paragraphs, despite being mentioned in the overview. Furthermore, the data reporting is inconsistent; for instance, you mention the agriculture sector in the overview but fail to describe its trend in the body, leaving the task under-developed. To improve, ensure that every category mentioned in the introduction is fully described with relevant data points and comparisons in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'To begin with' is used to start a paragraph that contains data, but the transition to the next point is abrupt. The use of 'However' is sometimes misused, such as when describing the retail sector's growth. The progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of a clear conclusion or a cohesive summary of the final trends, making the overall flow feel disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'jobs' and 'millions' without varying your phrasing. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs accounted by healthcare sector' (should be 'accounted for the highest number of jobs') and 'it was slightly rise' (should be 'it rose slightly'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning, it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band score. Focus on using synonyms and more sophisticated reporting verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with verb tense and voice, such as 'the highest jobs accounted by healthcare sector' and 'the figure was moderately increased'. Additionally, there are errors in sentence structure and punctuation, such as 'IN THE YEAR 1960 15 MILLIONS OF JOBS REGISTERD'. The use of capital letters throughout the text is also inappropriate. You rely on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors.

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