Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates data related to the number of occupations in four sectors of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020
Overall, the highest demanded job is manufacturing. Retail and healthcare are comparitively the figure surged dramatically in the four sector and least interested job is agriculture
Initially, the highly grown sector is manufacturing, which was 15% in 1960 and then slightly rise up to 10% in year 1980. Afterwards the rate fell gradually around 5% in each year till 2020 end up at 12.5%. Compared with retail and healthcare both are increase significantly around 15% at the end of the 2020 and remain stable.
Since, the agriculture sector has least number of job required ,it is lowest rate around 2.5 compared with other sector and the figure remained constant till year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main features of the graph, the analysis is underdeveloped. For example, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, stating it rose to 10% in 1980 after starting at 15% in 1960, which is contradictory. Furthermore, the data interpretation is inaccurate in several places, and the summary lacks a clear overview of the trends. To improve, ensure you accurately report the data points and provide a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends across all four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'and' and 'then'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Consequently'. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'highest', 'lowest', and 'increase'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'highly grown sector' and 'least interested job'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stagnant', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Expanding your range of descriptive language will help you convey information more accurately and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'retail and healthcare both are increase', and incorrect preposition usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralization. Practice using a mix of simple and complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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