Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided graph shows the information about the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in united states from the year 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing sector is the most popular and contributing sector of US. In the year 1960, this sector holds 15 million jobs which surged and became 20 million in 1980. Moving forward it decreased and reached 13 millions in the year 2020. Agriculture is the most important sector for any country. It holds 6 million jobs in the year 1960 but in further decades it dipped till the year 1980 and became 2.5 million job holder which remained the same till the year 2000. It further decreased and get stable at 2 million in 2020.

The most growing sectors are the retailing and healthcare sector. Talking about Retailing sector, it holds 6 million job in 1960 which soared to 15 million job holder till the year 2000. On other side Healthcare sector increased significantly and took 11 million jobs till 2000. Two decades after 2000 shows small amount of increase with becoming 16 million in the year 2020 in both sectors.

In conclusion, Agriculture and retailing sectors had significant incline in talking majority of jobs till 2020. But other sector including Manufacturing and Agriculture had a decline in holding jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start, middle, and end periods. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the conclusion contains factual errors, stating that the retailing sector had a 'significant incline' in taking the majority of jobs, while also incorrectly grouping sectors in the summary. The overview is missing; a clear summary of the main trends (e.g., the decline of manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth of service-related sectors) should be presented in the introduction or as a separate paragraph. The data interpretation is occasionally inaccurate, such as the claim that agriculture remained stable between 1980 and 2000, which is not clearly supported by the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Moving forward' and 'Talking about Retailing sector' are somewhat informal and do not flow naturally. The referencing is occasionally confusing, particularly in the conclusion where the summary of trends contradicts the body paragraphs. While there is a logical attempt to group the sectors, the transitions between sentences are often abrupt, and the lack of a clear overview makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed rather than cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There is repetitive use of 'sector' and 'jobs', and some word choices are unnatural, such as 'job holder' instead of 'employment figures' or 'number of jobs'. Phrases like 'most popular' are inappropriate for describing economic data. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'took 11 million jobs' and 'small amount of increase'. To improve, you should use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in united states' (missing article), '13 millions' (incorrect pluralization), 'get stable' (incorrect verb form), and 'Two decades after 2000 shows' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction is often simplistic. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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