Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four field of the economy in the United State between 1960 to 2020. Noticeably, the economy in the Us in the healthcare sector has increased during given time period.

In the manufacturing sector, economy was increased between 1960 to 1980 which was 20 then steadily decreased and reached at 13 in 2020.

Retail sector economy grown during 1960 to 2000 which was 6 to 15 respectively and after that slightly increased and reached an 16 in 2000.

Moreover, agriculture sector economy was deep down in given period of time it was 6 in 1960 which was deep down and occur at 3 in 1980 which was stable till 2000 and again slightly go down and reached at 2 in 2020. However, healthcare sector economy grown it was 3 in 1960 and slight up and reached at 16 in 2020.

Overall, agriculture sector economy was decreased over given period of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear, cohesive overview. While you mention the healthcare sector increased, the description of the other sectors is fragmented. The data points are occasionally inaccurate or confusingly presented, such as the claim that the retail sector reached 16 in 2000, which is not clearly supported by the graph provided. To improve, ensure you group information logically and provide a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends rather than listing data points in isolation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often mechanical and repetitive. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as the phrase 'which was deep down and occur at 3', which disrupts the flow of information. Referencing is also inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more naturally and improve the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'increased', 'grown', and 'go down'. There are also frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'four field of the economy' (should be 'sectors') and 'economy was deep down' (which is not standard English). The phrasing 'slight up' is also non-standard. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined gradually', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail sector economy grown'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence structures. Many sentences are simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors, such as 'which was 20 then steadily decreased'. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect pluralisation.

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