Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the given bar chart elucidates the information about the number of jobs in multiple sections between 1960 to 2020 in united state .in 1960 to 1980 15 to 20 million manufacturing jobs are available and in the same time 6 to 10 million retail jobs and 2.0 millions healthcare jobs and the 6 millions to 3 millions agriculture jobs and 1980 to 2000 20 millions 17 million manufacturing jobs and 10 million to 15 millions retail jobs and 5 million to 11 millions health care and 3 million to almost 3 millions agriculture jobs in us in 1980 to 2000 in 2000 to 2020 17 millions to 13 millions manufacturing and 15 to 16 millions retail jobs and 3 to 2 millions agriculture jobs and 11 to 16 millions healthcare jobs in us the bar chart shows the manufacturing after 1980 these jobs day by day getting lower and retail jobs are in growth 1960 to 2020 and the agriculture the health care jobs are getting higher every year in us
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the presentation of data is problematic. The report relies on a repetitive, list-like recitation of figures (e.g., '15 to 20 million', '6 to 10 million') without sufficient synthesis or comparison. The lack of clear paragraphing makes it difficult to follow the progression of information. While the main features are identified, the lack of an overview or a clear structure prevents a higher score. To improve, group data by trends rather than listing every figure chronologically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks paragraphing, which is a significant issue for coherence. The text is presented as a single block, making it difficult for the reader to navigate the information. Cohesive devices are largely absent; the writer relies on simple conjunctions like 'and' to connect ideas, resulting in a run-on sentence structure. There is no clear logical progression or signposting to guide the reader through the data. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, and incorporate linking words such as 'in contrast', 'furthermore', or 'subsequently' to improve the flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The writer uses the same phrases repeatedly, such as 'number of jobs' and 'millions'. There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stable'). The phrasing is often awkward, such as 'manufacturing after 1980 these jobs day by day getting lower'. To improve, incorporate a wider variety of verbs and nouns to describe statistical changes and avoid repeating the same sentence structures and word choices throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in united state'), incorrect prepositions ('in 1960 to 1980'), and poor sentence construction. The lack of punctuation, particularly full stops, results in long, run-on sentences that impede readability. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar is inconsistent. Subject-verb agreement and tense usage are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on basic sentence punctuation, ensure each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to vary sentence length and complexity.
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