Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The given graph below shows the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us, [redacted phone]. different category is also shown here such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
To begin with, in the year 1960, the amount of jobs in manufacturing is 15, retail is above 5%, agriculture above 5% and healthcare is above 0%. In the year 1980,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is significantly under the required 150-word minimum, which severely impacts the score. Because the text is incomplete and cuts off abruptly, it fails to provide a summary of the main features or make meaningful comparisons across the 60-year period. The overview is repetitive and lacks the necessary analysis of trends. To improve, you must ensure you complete the entire task, including a clear overview of the trends and specific data points for the beginning, middle, and end of the period provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks logical progression because it is unfinished. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas are not developed, and the transition between the introduction and the body is disjointed. The second paragraph is particularly problematic as it repeats the prompt rather than synthesizing information. To achieve a higher score, you need to organize your response into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and detailed body paragraphs that group information logically rather than listing data points in isolation.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely on simple phrasing such as 'the amount of jobs' and 'different category is also shown'. There is no attempt to use academic vocabulary or precise terminology related to data description (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined'). The repetition of 'in the year' and 'is' indicates a limited range. To improve, focus on learning verbs and nouns that describe trends, such as 'experienced a significant increase' or 'remained relatively stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammar is simple and contains several errors. There are issues with capitalization (e.g., 'us' instead of 'US') and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of jobs... are'). The sentence structures are basic and repetitive, lacking the complex sentence forms required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'While manufacturing declined, healthcare saw a steady rise'), and ensure consistent capitalization and accurate verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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