Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The number of jobs of manufacturing, Retail, agriculture, health care were 15 million,6 million, 6 million and 3 million respectively. While the number of jobs in 1980 was 20 million, 10 million, 4 million and 5 million respectively. In 2000, the jobs was 16 million, 15 million, 4 million and 11 million respectively while in 2020 the number of jobs were 14 million, 15.5 million, 3 million and 15.5 million respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 71 words. This significantly impacts the task achievement as the information is presented as a list of data points rather than a summary. There is no overview of the trends, and the lack of development means the main features are not effectively highlighted or compared. To improve, you must provide an introductory sentence, a clear overview of the overall trends, and detailed paragraphs that group and compare the data rather than simply listing figures for each year.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks paragraphing and logical progression. It consists of a single block of text that reads like a raw data table. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link the ideas; the repetitive use of 'respectively' at the end of every sentence makes the writing mechanical and disjointed. To improve, you should organize your response into distinct paragraphs (introduction, overview, and body paragraphs) and use a variety of linking words such as 'in contrast,' 'meanwhile,' or 'subsequently' to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on the word 'jobs' and the phrase 'respectively' to convey information. There is no attempt to use synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary related to economic trends (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a sharp decline'). The range is insufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to vary your terminology and use more descriptive verbs and nouns to explain the changes in the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences. There are errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'the jobs was' instead of 'the jobs were' and 'the number of jobs were' instead of 'the number of jobs was.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas in several places. To improve, focus on using a mix of complex sentence structures and ensure that your subjects and verbs agree correctly. Proofreading for basic punctuation and spacing errors is also essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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