Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates about the number of jobs in four different sectors between 1960 and 2020 in the us economy.

Overall, Manufacturing goes up and down, retails goes up from it's lowest, health also increase but agriculture care remain as low level.

If we talk about Manufacturing in 1960, 15 percent job are available that goes up to 20 percent in 1980 after that is goes down in 2020 there is 14 percent jobs. Retails was 5.2 percent in 1960 which gradually goes up to 15 percent in 2020 so retail economy increase.

Agriculture was 5.2 in 1960 after that in 2020 in goes to there lowest level which is not a good sign.

Then we have healthcare there is a massive change since 1960 to 2020 it constantly increases and level up to 3 percent to 15 percent healthcare jobs increase if we match it to previous years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear, cohesive overview. While you mention the sectors, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., stating agriculture is at its lowest level in 2020 when the graph shows a decline, but the phrasing is imprecise). The report would benefit from a more structured approach, grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) rather than listing them individually. The lack of a clear summary paragraph at the beginning also limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between sentences is weak. You rely on simple transitions like 'If we talk about' or 'Then we have', which makes the flow feel mechanical rather than academic. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas effectively. For example, the transition between the general overview and the specific data points is abrupt. To improve, use more sophisticated linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Conversely' to show the relationship between the different economic sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'goes up', 'increase', and 'goes down'. There is also a lack of precision in describing trends; for instance, 'level up to 3 percent to 15 percent' is unclear. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of academic vocabulary, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a steady rise', 'remained relatively stable', or 'accounted for'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word choice, such as 'agriculture care', which is not a standard term for an economic sector.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retails goes up', 'agriculture... remain'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., '15 percent job are available'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'in 2020 in goes to there lowest level'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes (e.g., 'it's' instead of 'its'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your subjects and verbs agree in number and tense.

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