Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four different departments of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

The graph displays major rise in manufacturing between 1960 to 1980, but than there is a dip over the next 40 years. Retail and healthcare show a good progress over these years. Agriculture numbers are also not look good although get some stability between 1980 and 2000.

To elaborate it, 15 million jobs were present in manufacturing unit in 1960 that gone nearly 20 million in 1990, however, show some decrease over next years and in 2020 only remained 10 to 15 million. Retail had around 5 million jobs in 1960 but showed consistently good increase and reached over 15 million in 2020. Agriculture sector also had over 5 million jobs in 1960 but at the end of 2020 below 5 million jobs remained. Healthcare produced most jobs out of all these sectors, mainly had less than 5 million jobs but at the end of 2020 that single sector added more than 10 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline of the peak, and the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. While the overview is present, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited more precisely and that the 'main features' are highlighted with a clearer focus on the overall trajectory rather than just listing individual sector movements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To elaborate it', 'however', 'also'). There are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'that', 'these') is always clear would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. Phrases like 'show a good progress' and 'numbers are also not look good' are informal and imprecise. The student relies on basic descriptors such as 'increase' and 'decrease' throughout the text. To improve, the student should incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'remained relatively stable'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'than there is a dip' (should be 'then'), 'Agriculture numbers are also not look good' (incorrect verb form), and 'that gone nearly 20 million' (missing auxiliary verb). Punctuation is generally functional, but the control over verb tenses and subject-verb agreement needs significant improvement to reach a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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