Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The bar graph depicts the information regarding the count of jobs in four distinct sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At the first glance it is evident that first place is occupied by the manufacturing in which 15 millions jobs were provided in 1960 and the count surged by 5 million and become 20 million in 1980. After two decades, it followed downwal trend and decreased to approximately 17 million jobs and in 2020 it elevate upto 13 million jobs. Furthermore, in retail sector in 1960, more than five million jobs can be witnessed in retail sector which surged to 10 million in 1980 and an again increase of 5 million can be witnessed after two decan decade for which value being 15 million. In 2020 Surprisingly, in the year of 2020 a very small amount of increase can be seen in 2020, which accounted for approximately 16 million jobs.

Moving towards the rest of information, In agriculture sector jobs were on 8 mili millions in the year of 1960, which gradually reduced by almost 2 millions and become 4 million in 1980 which remained constant for two decades. after 2000 after twenty years it fallen declined to 3 million in the year of 2020. Moreover, about 30 million jobs can be seen in the year of 1960. Surprisingly which mushroomed log to 50 million in 1980 and 18 million in 2000 and. and 16 million in 2020 and 11 , 18 in the year of 2000 and 2020, respectively.

Overall, maximum amount count of jobs can be noticed in the manufacturing sector however very least jobs employment jobs can be in witnessed in agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the description of the fourth sector (likely 'other' or 'services') is highly disjointed, with contradictory figures like '30 million', '50 million', and '18 million' appearing in a single sentence. The overview is also weak, as it fails to identify the most significant trends or the overall shift in the economy, instead just stating which sector was highest and lowest. The data interpretation is inconsistent, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the internal flow is frequently interrupted by confusing sentence structures and repetitive phrasing. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Moving towards', 'Overall'), they are often followed by disjointed information. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the data for the fourth sector becomes muddled. The progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of clarity in the data presentation, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and inaccuracies, such as 'followed downwal trend', 'elevate upto', and 'mushroomed log'. The use of 'decan decade' and 'mili millions' suggests issues with spelling and editing. While the student attempts to use some descriptive verbs, the lack of precision in reporting the data significantly impacts the clarity of the response. More precise terminology related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it followed downwal trend'), incorrect verb tenses, and punctuation errors. The sentence 'Surprisingly which mushroomed log to 50 million in 1980 and 18 million in 2000 and. and 16 million in 2020 and 11 , 18 in the year of 2000 and 2020, respectively' is particularly problematic, showing a lack of control over sentence construction and syntax. These errors frequently impede the reader's ability to understand the intended meaning.

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