Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the jobs in the manufacturing sector were highly available but declined with time. The jobs in healthcare were few in 1960 but peaked in 2020. Furthermore the employments in retail and agriculture increased and decreased respectively.
Initially talking about manufacturing sector the job oppurtunities were highest reaching its peak in 1980 . However a sharp decrease was seen 20 years later reaching approximately 17 and to to its lowest in 2020.
The healthcare sector had lowest job in 1960 comparable to none but with increasing ratio of diseases through out the world more doctors and nurses were in demand. The number of jobs reached its top in 2020 crossing 15 which is the same case for retail . Its jobs increased steadily throughout the years.
Lastly talking about the agriculture sector its jobs were equal to retail in 1960 but in contrast to retail in 1970 retail offered more jobs while agricultural sector jobs demand declined and almost reaching to zero in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of 'increasing ratio of diseases' is an external assumption not supported by the graph, which is a common pitfall in Task 1. Additionally, the data reporting is imprecise; phrases like 'approximately 17' lack units, and the description of the healthcare sector as 'comparable to none' is unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are clearly referenced with appropriate units and avoid speculating on the causes behind the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'Initially talking about...' and 'Lastly talking about...'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when comparing sectors. While there is a logical progression from the overview to specific details, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between the sectors is more explicitly stated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. There are some spelling errors, such as 'oppurtunities' and 'through out'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'declined'. While the meaning is generally clear, the student struggles with collocations and precise terminology related to data description. To improve, the student should incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and ensure accurate spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder readability. For example, there are missing commas after introductory phrases and issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'The healthcare sector had lowest job'. Additionally, the phrasing 'to to its lowest' contains a repetition error. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from achieving a higher band. Focusing on sentence punctuation and proofreading for minor slips would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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