Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is often argued that The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.While some people believe that alternative form of housing should be prioritised,I largel agree thta constructing high-rise appartments is one of the most effective solutions to the growing demand for accommodation in urban areas.

One of the primary reason why I support this view is that appartment buildings make highly efficent use of lmited land.This is particularly benefical in densely populated cities,where availale land is scare and extremely expensive.By constructing vertically rather then horizontally,a relatively small area can accommodate hundreds of household,which help cities to meet housing demand without spending endlessly into surrounding country side.For instance,cities such as hong kong and singapore have sucessfully use high-rise residational building to accommodate large population.

Another significant reason is that appartment building can make life convnient.When many people live in the same area,it is easier to provide services such as public transport,school,shops and hospital.In addition people can also live closer to their workplace.which can reduce time and traffic,moreover it also save your fuel.Consequently,apartment blocks can help cities to be more organised and convenient.

Admittedly,some people argue that people should have their own bunglow rather than apartment.The believe that owning a bunglow is more benefical because you dont have to wait lifts and you will have your garden.Moreover you will have your own garage where you can park your vechile.However,this is argument is not entirely convincing because every middle class family cannot afford the bunglow because of finanical support.

In conclusion,although there are arguments on both sides,I firmly believe that appartment blocks are an effective way to address urban housing shortage because they maximise land use and support efficent public services.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The response is completely off-topic. The task required a summary of a graph showing job trends in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020. Instead, the student wrote an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of high-rise apartment buildings. Because the student failed to address the prompt entirely, the task achievement score is severely impacted. There is no attempt to describe the data, trends, or comparisons requested by the instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an understanding of essay format. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression is disconnected from the task requirements. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently' are used, but they serve to link irrelevant ideas. Paragraphing is present, but the overall coherence is undermined by the fact that the essay does not respond to the provided graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for expressing opinions on a social issue, but it is not appropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires specific terminology for describing data (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable'). There are several spelling errors, such as 'appartments', 'lmited', 'benefical', 'availale', 'scare' (instead of scarce), and 'convnient'. These errors, combined with the lack of topic-specific vocabulary for data analysis, limit the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('every middle class family cannot afford'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors and the lack of control over basic sentence construction prevent a higher score. The grammar is not suited to the formal, objective tone required for an Academic Task 1 report.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.