Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs (in millions) in four sectors of economy- Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare sectors have been increased considerably over the period. While, the most prominent sector, manufacturing has experienced decline gradually and jobs in agriculture also faced the decline trend.
In 1960, Manufacturing consisted highest number of jobs accounted to be 15 million. It further shown improvement in 1980 as it reached to 20 million jobs. Nevertheless, it started to decline after that period and reached 17 million and 13 million in 2000 and 2020 respectively. Agriculture sector has also dipped continuously. It started from 6 million jobs in 1960 but later substantially dropped to 4 million in 1980 and remained constant till 2000 and further dropped to 3 million in 2020.
Moving further, both retail and healthcare sector experienced significant growth over the period. Retail sector jobs was around 6 million in 1960, which further surged to 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. Similar trend can been seen in healthcare sector as it consisted of around 2 million jobs in 1960. Since then, its market increased constantly as it reached around 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors at specific time points, rather than just describing them individually. The data is generally accurate, though the phrasing 'consisted highest number of jobs' is slightly imprecise. Overall, you have provided a clear summary that addresses the requirements of the task well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on the contrasting trends. Cohesive devices such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moving further', and 'Since then' are used to guide the reader through the information. While the flow is generally good, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is clear, and the progression of ideas from the overview to the specific data points is logical and easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'surged', 'dipped', 'substantially', and 'considerably'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'faced the decline trend' (should be 'downward trend') and 'market increased' (referring to the sector). Despite these minor inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication of the data. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'jobs in retail and healthcare sectors have been increased' (passive voice error; should be 'have increased'), 'Manufacturing consisted highest number' (missing article 'the'), and 'Similar trend can been seen' (missing 'be'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures would help improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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