Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line chart illustrates the information regarding the piece of work among four categories of the frugality from 1960 to 2020 in the US
overall, it can be noticed that the higher piece of work is in manufacturing sector in 1963 and from starting lower in the agriculture sector.
it is clear that from starting the piece of work is higher in the manufacturing sector not to mention it reach its maximum level in 1963 which is about 20 million however, its start decreasing from the 1963 whereas, in the agriculture sector the piece of work is about 6 million in 1960 nonetheless it start decreasing likewise from that year furthermore, the retail category similar in that year in 1960 even so it start rising inaddition in 2020 it reach its maximum level which is 15 million moreover, the health care category is at the lower point in 1960 which is 2.5 million however, it start rising additionally reach its maximum level which is similar to the retail category which is 15 million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is hindered by significant inaccuracies in data interpretation and terminology. For instance, the term 'piece of work' is used repeatedly to refer to 'number of jobs,' which is confusing. While the response covers all four categories, the description of trends is often imprecise or contradictory, such as stating that manufacturing reached its maximum in 1963 and then started decreasing, which is a basic observation, but the lack of clear comparative language makes it difficult to follow. The overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, failing to highlight the most significant changes effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks paragraphing, consisting of a single block of text that makes it difficult to read. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often repetitive and mechanically applied, such as the frequent use of 'however,' 'nonetheless,' 'furthermore,' and 'moreover.' The logical flow is disrupted by the lack of sentence boundaries and poor punctuation. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it hard to distinguish between the different sectors being discussed. To improve, you should group related ideas into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. The phrase 'piece of work' is used incorrectly throughout the text to mean 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures.' Additionally, 'frugality' is used incorrectly to refer to the 'economy.' There is a lack of precision in describing trends; for example, using 'start rising' or 'start decreasing' repeatedly. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise terminology related to data analysis, such as 'employment figures,' 'economic sectors,' 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'declined steadily.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There is a lack of proper sentence structure, with many run-on sentences and a complete absence of full stops, which makes the text difficult to parse. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect (e.g., 'it reach its maximum,' 'it start decreasing'). Punctuation is almost entirely missing, which is a major issue. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, the lack of control over basic grammar and punctuation significantly lowers the score. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and punctuation before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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