Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs across four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period and reached a peak in 1960 before declining considerably. In contrast, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail sector increased steadily throughout the period, whereas agriculture sector followed a downward trend and had the fewest jobs by 2020.
In 1960, manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs in 1960.It continued to increases, with the figure reached a peak at 20 million jobs. After that, it declined steadily, reaching about 17 million jobs in 2000 and approximately 13 million in 2020.Retail experienced consistent growth throughout the period.Starting at around 6 million jobs in 1960, the figure increased to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000.It then rose slightly to 12 million by the end of the period.
Agiculture,on the other hand, experienced a gradual decline. It stood approximately at 6 million in 1960.It then declined gradually to 3 million in 1980 and remained stagnant until 2000.By 2020, this figure had dropped further to 2 million.Healthcare showed a significant growth, increasing from just 2 million jobs to 5 million in 1980.It continued to increase, with the figure rose to 11 million in 2000 and 15 million by the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You successfully highlighted the contrasting trajectories of the four sectors, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you stated that retail rose to 15 million in 2000 and then 'rose slightly to 12 million' by 2020, which is a contradiction as 12 million is lower than 15 million. Additionally, the peak for manufacturing is mentioned as 1960, but the graph shows it peaking later. Precision in data interpretation is essential for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' 'on the other hand,' and 'whereas' helps to guide the reader through the comparisons. However, the paragraphing and sentence structure are occasionally affected by missing spaces after periods (e.g., '1960.It continued', 'period.Starting'). While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the mechanical errors in punctuation and spacing slightly disrupt the flow of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'declining considerably,' 'increased steadily,' and 'remained stagnant.' This allows for a clear description of the graph. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'Agiculture' and the repetitive use of 'the figure.' To improve, try to vary your reporting verbs and nouns to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated control of academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors that hinder the accuracy of the writing. Examples include 'the figure reached a peak' (should be 'the figure reached a peak of') and 'the figure rose to 11 million' (should be 'the figure rose to 11 million'). There are also consistent issues with punctuation, specifically missing spaces after full stops, which makes the text look unpolished. Improving control over verb tenses and sentence construction will help elevate your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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