Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below illustrates the pieces of information about the numbers of jobs in four different departments of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The trend of jobs in retail and and agriculture sector were almost same but in manufacturing field number of jobs were decreased while the agricultural jobs were almost stable.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector have most jobs, the number of jobs is almost three times then retail and healthcare department. The jobs further increased till 1980 then in next four decade the graph drops down and the number of jobs come from 20 million to almost 13 million. In 1960 the ratio of retails job and healthcare jobs were almost on 6 million but then the numbers of retail jobs were increased rapidly and reached to 16 million in 2020 while for the agricultural jobs the graph crashed down and almost half numbers of jobs were in 2020. The major change can be noticed in healthcare sector in 1960 the jobs were lack behind then others but in 6 decades the graph reached from 3 million to almost 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying key trends such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in the healthcare and retail sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear overview or summary of the most significant trends. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more precise; for instance, the description of the agricultural sector as 'almost stable' contradicts the visual evidence of a decline. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most striking changes across the entire period rather than just listing data points. The response addresses the prompt but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of varied cohesive devices. While there is a basic attempt to sequence information, the transition between ideas is often mechanical. For example, the use of 'then' and 'in 1960' is repetitive, making the progression feel stilted. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to better guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the graph drops down' and 'the jobs were lack behind'. The use of 'departments' to describe economic sectors is also imprecise. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a significant decline', or 'experienced a steady upward trend'. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns will help convey the information more effectively and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the trend... were'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'the manufacturing sector have most jobs'), and awkward prepositional phrases. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Reducing the frequency of these errors will significantly improve the readability and professional tone of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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