Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in the four sectors of the economy-Manufacturing, Retail, agriculture, Healthcare in the united state from 1960 to 2020. Unit are measured in millions.

Overall, it is evident that manufacturing was the largest employer at the beginning of the period, but this figure declined after reaching a peak in 1980. In contrast employment in Retail and healthcare increased considerably and overtake manufacturing field. Agriculture experienced a gradual decline and become the smallest sector.

In 1960, manufacturing employed about 15 million people, compared with approximately 6 million individuals in retail and agriculture. healthcare stood at lowest at around 3 million. Manufacturing employment then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.

Retail followed a completely different trend. It employment figure increased steadily from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980, before reaching 15 million in 2000 and approximately 16 million in 1980. Similarly healthcare experienced a substantial growth, rising from 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million jobs in 1980 and 11 million in 2000 .By 2020, it had reached around 16 million jobs.

By contrast, agriculture fell considerably starting from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. It remained stable at around 3 million in 2000 before decline slihjtly to approximately 2 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the contrasting growth in retail and healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting, such as stating retail reached 16 million in 1980, which contradicts the graph. Additionally, the overview is clear but could be more detailed regarding the final standing of the sectors. To improve, ensure that data points are transcribed precisely from the visual aid to avoid factual errors, and ensure the overview highlights the most significant shifts across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast', 'Similarly', and 'By contrast' to link ideas. However, the progression within paragraphs is occasionally mechanical, and there are some referencing issues, such as 'It employment figure', which should be 'Its employment figure'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to avoid repetitive structures. Overall, the information is easy to follow, but the cohesion is not always smooth.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'declined', 'substantial growth', and 'gradual decline'. There are some errors in word choice and form, such as 'healthcare stood at lowest' (should be 'the lowest') and 'before decline slihjtly' (spelling error and incorrect verb form). While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, the occasional inaccuracies and spelling mistakes prevent a higher score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in word forms and spelling throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Manufacturing employment then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling 17 million in 2000'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in the united state', 'at lowest'), subject-verb agreement issues ('It employment figure'), and tense inconsistencies. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. Increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your score.

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