Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of The USA between the time period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of manufacturing job was on the top at the beginning but at the end of time period the number of jobs in the retail and healthcare business crossed it. The agricultural sector also showed decrease in numbers.
In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing business was 15millions which peaked to 20 millions in 1980 and after that showed a gradual decrease so the number was about 13 millions. In contrast, the healthcare sector and retail business showed a significant growth in this time period. The retail sector started at from slight over 5 million and showed continuous growth and crossed 15 million in 2020 while the health sector was the lowest in the beginning but showed a remarkable growth and reached to slight above 15 millions from 3 millions.
The number of jobs in agriculture sector was 5 million and dropped to 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While it mentions the crossing of trends, it lacks a clear, synthesized summary of the overall shift in the US economy. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing; stating it was at 15 million in 1960, peaked at 20 million in 1980, and ended at 13 million is a good use of data, but the phrasing could be more precise to ensure the reader follows the timeline clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For instance, the transition 'In contrast' is used effectively, but other links between sentences are basic. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the final paragraph regarding the agricultural sector is very short and could have been integrated into the previous body paragraph to improve the flow and cohesion of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'peaked', 'gradual decrease', and 'significant growth'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'retail business' instead of 'retail sector' and 'at from slight over' (a grammatical error affecting lexical precision). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the sophistication or variety required for a higher band. To improve, the student should focus on more precise collocations related to economic data and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of manufacturing job was on the top' (should be 'jobs' and 'at the top'), 'at the end of time period' (missing article), and 'started at from slight over' (redundant prepositions). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The student demonstrates an ability to use complex sentences, but the control over articles and pluralization needs improvement to reach the next band level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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