Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors across US population from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors took upward trend over the period. However, manufacturing and healthcare shows opposite trend. In addition manufacturing had first increased and makes them the highest number of jobs.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector attract 15 million of employment. Retail and agriculture field were accounted to around 6 million jobs, closely followed by healthcare sector at approximately 3 million jobs. The manufacturing sector rose slightly to 20 million jobs by 1980. It then gradually decreased at roughly 13 million jobs in 2020. The figure of agriculture sector was steadily decreased to 3 million in 2000. After that, remained stable to around 2 million jobs by 2020.

In comparison, the retail and healthcare fields were gradually increased to about 15 million and 11 million jobs respectively. Finally, figure of the retail remained stable to around 16 million jobs by 2020, while agriculture reached this point at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the reporting of data. For instance, you state that manufacturing and healthcare show an 'opposite trend' and that manufacturing 'makes them the highest number of jobs,' which is confusing and factually unclear. Furthermore, the summary of the data in the final paragraph is contradictory, as you mention agriculture reaching the same point as retail, which is not supported by the visual data. While you identify the main trends, the lack of precision in describing the figures and the misinterpretation of the data points prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurate and that your comparisons are logically consistent with the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'In 1960,' and 'In comparison.' However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. For example, the sentence 'In addition manufacturing had first increased and makes them the highest number of jobs' lacks clear cohesion with the previous sentence. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is somewhat mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one, avoiding abrupt shifts in topic.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates,' 'upward trend,' 'employment,' and 'remained stable.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'took upward trend' (should be 'showed an upward trend') and 'attract 15 million of employment' (should be 'attracted 15 million employees'). There is also some repetition of basic verbs. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise collocations and avoid word-choice errors that occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. Expanding your vocabulary related to trends and data reporting would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'manufacturing and healthcare shows opposite trend' (subject-verb agreement error), 'figure of agriculture sector was steadily decreased' (incorrect passive voice usage), and 'figure of the retail remained stable' (missing article). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for these common errors will help you achieve a higher level of accuracy.

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