Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following graph illustrates the amount of jobs across the four sectors of the economy in the US from year 1960 till 2020.
While looking at the graph, it is noticeable that the jobs provided by the manufacturing sector in the year 1980 were in huge amount. In comparison to 1980, there is a gradual decrease in the number of jobs offered by manufacturing sector in 2020.
Meanwhile, in 1960, The retail and healthcare sectors were offering least number of jobs and it is very impressive that in 2020 these both sectors are having the majority of the employees . This gradual and appreciate able increase in the number of jobs have given the people a work place from where they can earn.
On the other hand, The agriculture sector has not improved even a bit and it keeps decreasing within the time. It gives the least number of job opportunities. In fact, in the 60s, it was offering a various job opportunities but somehow it couldn't keep up with it and started falling .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, describing the manufacturing sector as being in a 'huge amount' in 1980 is imprecise; it would be better to use specific data points or comparative language. Additionally, the response lacks a clear overview or summary of the overall trends, which is essential for Task 1. The description of the agriculture sector as 'not improved even a bit' is a subjective interpretation rather than a report of the data. To improve, you should focus on reporting the figures more accurately and providing a concise summary of the most significant changes at the beginning or end of the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'While looking at the graph' and 'Meanwhile'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical flow could be improved by using more sophisticated linking words to connect the trends across the different sectors. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas feels a bit disjointed. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as 'in contrast,' 'subsequently,' or 'consequently,' would help to create a more fluent and professional-sounding report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. Phrases like 'huge amount' and 'very impressive' are informal and imprecise for an academic report. The term 'appreciate able' is incorrectly used and misspelled. You rely on basic descriptors such as 'increase' and 'decrease' without much variation. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'a significant decline,' 'a steady upward trend,' or 'the most prominent sector.' Expanding your vocabulary to include more varied ways of describing changes will significantly enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'the amount of jobs' should be 'the number of jobs,' and 'these both sectors' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with article usage, such as 'The retail and healthcare sectors' (unnecessary capitalization) and 'a work place.' The sentence 'This gradual and appreciate able increase in the number of jobs have given...' contains a subject-verb agreement error ('has given'). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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