Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph shows the number of jobs in four different sections of the US economy during the period from 1920 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail increased over the period, while manufacturing followed a different trend. Manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning, but it declined after reaching its peak. By 2020, healthcare has the most jobs.
In 1960, manufacturing provided about 15 million jobs. The number increased steadily and reached around 20 millions in 1980. After that, employment in manufacturing started to fall down and ended at around 12 millions jobs in 2020. Retail showed a more gradual increased. It had around 10 million jobs in 1980 and continued grow in over the following years reached approximately 18 millions in 2020.
Agriculture also increased during this period. There were about 5 million jobs in 1960, and this number fall around 3 million jobs in 1980. At the end, in 2020 its 1 million jobs available. Healthcare saw the biggest overall increase. Starting at only increased around 3 million jobs in 1960, employment in this sector rose steadily throughout the period and reached approximately 16 million jobs in 2020. As a result, healthcare became the largest employment sector by the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. You successfully identified the main shifts, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of manufacturing. However, there is a factual error in the introduction: you stated the period was 1920 to 2020, whereas the graph clearly shows 1960 to 2020. Additionally, while you mention the trends, the comparison between sectors could be more explicit in the body paragraphs to better highlight the relative changes. Despite these minor issues, the main features are clearly reported, and the overview is effective.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'As a result' to link sentences. However, the connection between sentences can sometimes feel a bit mechanical, and there is a lack of more sophisticated linking phrases to show contrast between the sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow the information easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment', 'sector', 'steadily', and 'gradual'. However, there are several inaccuracies in word form and collocation, such as 'fall around 3 million' (should be 'fell to around') and 'continued grow' (should be 'continued to grow'). You also consistently use 'millions' as a plural noun with a number, which is incorrect (e.g., '20 millions' should be '20 million'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score as they show a lack of precision in using numerical expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to vary your sentence patterns, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'By 2020, healthcare has the most jobs' (should be 'had') and 'this number fall' (should be 'fell'). There are also issues with prepositions and articles, such as 'at the end, in 2020 its 1 million jobs available'. These errors occur throughout the text, though they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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