Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Everything is crucial for the economy whether it is agriculture,manufacturing, health care or retail.According to the maps it shows huge growth in retail and health care as this is important part of our daily lives as compared to to 1960s. From 2000 to 2020 we saw increase of the population so their needs are also prioritized thats why government of USA more focused on these sectors. In early 1980s health sytem is not advanced but now a day they have all advanced technology or machinery to treat many diseases which is incurable before that. Retail bussiness is also needed as compared to early 1970.
Contrary manufacturing and in 1980 we saw growth but afterward it decline as sources are not available in the country and import system is improved so government is imported the item from other countries so thats why we noticed declined as compared to to 1960. Agriculture is reduced because USA is more advanced and they built everywhere buildings so there is less space left for agriculture
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to provide a clear overview or report the main features of the graph. Instead of objectively summarizing the data, the response focuses on providing personal explanations and external opinions about why these changes occurred (e.g., 'government of USA more focused on these sectors'). The task requires a factual report of the trends shown in the graph. Key data points, such as the specific starting and ending values or clear comparisons between the four sectors, are missing. The response is largely descriptive of external factors rather than analytical of the provided visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks a clear logical structure. Paragraphing is used, but the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and do not follow a clear progression. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas effectively. For example, the transition 'Contrary manufacturing' is grammatically incorrect and does not serve as an effective contrastive marker. The flow of information is hindered by the lack of clear referencing and logical sequencing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparison of the four sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple terms like 'huge growth' or 'increase'. There are several instances of inaccurate word choice and spelling errors, such as 'bussiness' instead of 'business' and 'sytem' instead of 'system'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate precision or flexibility, and the tone is more conversational than academic. The student struggles to use topic-specific vocabulary related to data interpretation, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('health sytem is not advanced'), tense usage ('which is incurable before that'), and sentence structure (run-on sentences and fragments). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some awkward attempts at complex ones. The errors are pervasive and demonstrate a lack of control over basic grammatical rules.
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