Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the proportion of the jobs in four sectors of the economy mainly: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare, in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall agriculture sector has 5 million jobs in 1960 but the number gradually declines. In 1980 this sector has approximately 2-3 million jobs and the number remains steady till 2020. However, the manufacturing sector have 15 million jobs in 1960, it went to its peak with 20 million jobs in 1980 but gradually fell steeply and till 2020 it has approximately 12-13 million jobs in 2020.
On the other hand, Retail and healthcare sector rose in 1960 and their number never dropped till 2020. The healthcare sector started from nearly 3 million jobs in 1960, 5 million jobs in 1980 and till 2020 they had 15 million jobs in the sector. Likewise, Retail sector started from 5 million jobs in 1960 and gradually increased their jobs with 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and this number remains the same till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported it with relevant data points. However, the response could be improved by ensuring the data is presented more accurately. For instance, you mention the agriculture sector has '2-3 million jobs' in 1980, but the graph shows a more specific decline. Additionally, the term 'proportion' in your introduction is inaccurate, as the graph displays the 'number of jobs' rather than percentages. To reach a higher band, ensure that your terminology matches the data provided and that your comparisons between sectors are more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively (declining vs. rising). You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'On the other hand', and 'Likewise' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother, avoiding repetitive sentence structures when describing the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'gradually declines', 'remains steady', and 'fell steeply'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as using 'proportion' instead of 'number' or 'quantity'. Additionally, there is some repetition of the phrase 'number of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs. Using synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also demonstrate a more flexible control of lexical resources.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'manufacturing sector have', 'Retail and healthcare sector rose'—should be plural 'sectors'). There are also tense inconsistencies, such as switching between past and present when describing historical data (e.g., 'the number remains steady' vs 'it went to its peak'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on maintaining consistent past tense when describing historical trends and checking subject-verb agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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