Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates about the multiple of professions in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Among all sectors Manufacturing had a highest jobs in millions. Healthcare decreased gradually records as a lowest jobs in millions.

According to line chart, The manufacturing sector were recorded with 15 millions of jobs in 1960 after two decades it had been increased to 20 millions of jobs. After 1980, The sector decreased gradually between 15 millions to 20 millions of jobs in 2000. In the year 2020, The manufacturing sector had reached 12 to 13 millions of jobs. The Retail sector were dramatically increased by every year, In 1960 the jobs are considered of having 6 million. After two decades the profession had reached to 10 million as well as by the year 2000 it had reached to 15 million of jobs. In 2020 it had increased to 10% of jobs comparing with the year 2000.

The agriculture also had increased by every year by the year 2020 both Retail and Agriculture had reached to same point. In 1960, jobs had recorded of about 3 million and by 1980, reached to 5 million of jobs. After two decades dramatically increased to 11 million of jobs. In 2020 recorded 16 million.

The Healthcare was performed low in jobs comparing with all sectors also every year jobs were gradually decreased in 1960, they are having 6 million of jobs. In the 1980 decreased to below 5 million and remained constant in 2000. By 2020 it had fell to about 3 millions of job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points, but the analysis is hindered by inaccurate reporting. For instance, you state that Manufacturing reached 12-13 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows a different trend. Furthermore, the comparison between Retail and Agriculture in 2020 is confusingly phrased. While you attempt to identify main features, the lack of precision in interpreting the data prevents a clear overview. To improve, focus on accurately transcribing the data points from the graph and ensuring that your summary highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the overall decline of Manufacturing versus the growth of Retail) rather than listing every data point chronologically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'After two decades' are used repeatedly, and transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The logical progression is occasionally disrupted by confusing data reporting, such as the contradictory statements regarding the Retail sector's growth. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their growth or decline trends rather than just listing them one by one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use 'jobs in millions' and 'increased/decreased', which restricts the range of your writing. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'multiple of professions' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'Healthcare was performed low'. These errors occasionally make the meaning unclear. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('The manufacturing sector were recorded', 'jobs are considered'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often faulty, such as 'The agriculture also had increased by every year by the year 2020 both Retail and Agriculture had reached to same point.' To improve, focus on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Proofread your work to ensure that verbs match their subjects and that prepositions are used correctly in time expressions.

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