Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy in between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, according to the graph manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in the most of the period although its figure is constantly get decreased after the given first period. Employees in retail and the healthcare are increased rapidly. In the agriculture sector employees are significantly decreased.
In the year 1960 manufacturing sector employees are 15 million then the gradual increase in jobs it hits 20 million in 1980 and later on it constantly decreased. however the Retail sector was containing only 5 million in in the year 1960 there is a flow of increasing in this sector it reaches to 17million in the year 2020.
Healthcare sector had only 2 million in 1960 whereas it immensely increased and reaches to retail sector in the year of 2020. Agriculture sector and Retail sector both starts at same point but agriculture sector decreased till 1980 and it maintained constant until 2000 and then decreased
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the four sectors. You highlighted the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the response lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that healthcare 'reaches to retail sector' is vague, and the description of the agriculture sector's trend is incomplete and slightly inaccurate based on the graph. To improve, ensure you provide specific data points for key years to support your comparisons, and double-check your interpretation of the visual data to ensure accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. Phrases like 'there is a flow of increasing' are unnatural, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. While you use some linking words such as 'however' and 'whereas', the overall flow would benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices and more careful sentence construction to ensure that the relationship between ideas is clearly signposted.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends such as 'gradual increase' and 'immensely increased'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'figure is constantly get decreased' and 'containing only 5 million'. These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations for describing trends and avoid repetitive or grammatically incorrect word combinations. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'manufacturing sector employees are 15 million'), subject-verb agreement, and missing articles. For example, 'in the most of the period' should be 'for most of the period'. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.