Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about type of employements in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and health care accounted for the highest proportion. On the other hand, Manufacturing rose sharply in 1980 but gradually fell down eventually. Moreover, Agriculture reccorded at the lowest proportion.
Employments of retail monitored at the top, from 1960 to 2000 it showed consistent trend of rose which is 5 million to 15 million but after that it improved slowly to 17 million. Also, healthcare played the same trend but is started from 3 million and ended upto 17 million as well.
On the other hand, Manufacturing reccorded 15 million in 1960 and took the high rose to 20 million in 1980 but it fell dramatically in the later years to 15 million in 2020. However, Agrliculture and retail both started from the same number of jobs which is 5 million but eventually agriculture fell gradually to 4 million in 1960 and ended up to 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the highest and lowest sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that agriculture and retail started at the same number of jobs, which contradicts the graph. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly confused regarding the timeline and figures. While you have selected the main features, the lack of precision in reporting the data points hinders the overall effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference your written figures with the graph to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but the internal cohesion within the body paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly. The paragraphing is appropriate for this task type.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors, such as 'employements', 'reccorded', and 'Agrliculture'. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'proportion', 'sectors', and 'dramatically', which is good. However, to reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and ensure accurate spelling. Avoid using informal phrasing like 'fell down' or 'improved slowly' when describing data trends; more academic alternatives would enhance the professional tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'is started from' instead of 'started from', and 'it showed consistent trend of rose' instead of 'a consistent upward trend'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are also inconsistent. While you attempt to use complex sentences, the errors in these structures are frequent enough to occasionally distract the reader. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of articles and verb tenses will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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