Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail employment increased over the time, whereas Agriculture shows a slightly declined and Manufacturing Industry showed some increment at start but remain declines over the time.
In 1960 Healthcare industry their was around 2.5 millions job and it surged to 5 millions job by the end of 1980, reached to 10 millions in 2000 and finally end up with 15 millions jobs in 2020.
Likewise, Retail sector also showed the similar pattern to Manufacturing, 10 millions jobs were in 1960 and number increased over the time stops 15 millions job in 2020.
In contrast, Agriculture sector losed the strenght and declined jobs over the time, In 1960 jobs exist were around 6 millions and shrinks to 2.5 millions
in 1980, between 1980 to 2000 shows some stability and ln 2020 it end up with around 1 millions jobs.
In conclusion, Healthcare and Retail showed excellent growth, whereas Manufacturing and Agriculture faced declined over the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state the Retail sector showed a 'similar pattern to Manufacturing', yet the graph shows Retail increasing while Manufacturing declines. Additionally, you mention Manufacturing showed an 'increment at start but remain declines', which is not clearly supported by the data provided. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in describing the trends and the misinterpretation of the data points prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that your summary of the trends strictly aligns with the visual evidence provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the text. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you refer to 'the similar pattern' without clearly explaining the divergence in the data. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You use basic verbs like 'increased', 'declined', and 'end up with' multiple times. There are also some errors in word choice and form, such as 'losed the strenght' (lost strength) and 'remain declines' (remained in decline). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend', and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare industry their was' (there were), 'jobs exist were' (there were), and 'faced declined' (faced a decline). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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