Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of occupation in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail sectors show an upward trend, while the agricultural sector decreased over the period. whereas the manufacturing sector showed some fluctuation between 1960 and 2020.
At the beginning of the period, manufacturing was the largest employer among the four sectors, with approximately 15 million jobs. It peaked at around 20 million in 1980, after it declined steadily to 13 million by 2020. In contrast, agriculture started with about 6 million in 1960. Then this figure fell sharply to around 2 million between 1980 and 2020.
Healthcare began with around 2 million in 1960. After 1980, this figure surprisingly rose slightly to around 16 million by 2020. On the other hand, retail employment grew from about 6 million in 1960. Then this figure increased to 15 million in 2000. Then levelled off and rose slightly to 15.5 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. The comparison between sectors is clear. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, the description of healthcare rising 'surprisingly' is slightly subjective for an academic report. Additionally, ensure the overview clearly synthesizes the data rather than just listing trends. Overall, the task is well-addressed with a clear focus on the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In contrast' and 'On the other hand', which help to link ideas effectively. However, the use of 'Then' at the start of consecutive sentences in the final paragraph is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow and elevate the score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'fluctuation', and 'levelled off' correctly. There are some minor issues, such as 'number of occupation' (should be 'occupations' or 'jobs'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the information clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure noun-number agreement is consistent throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'after it declined steadily' (which is a fragment or incorrectly linked) and 'number of occupation' (pluralization error). Punctuation is generally functional, though the sentence structure in the second paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the use of 'whereas' as a sentence starter. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more consistent control over complex structures and grammatical accuracy to reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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