Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the Manufacturing sector records the highest number of jobs as per the graph below, that is in the year 1990. While, the Agriculture sector records the least number of jobs in the data in the year 2020.

Whereas coming to Healthcare sector jobs, they recorded a high growth in the recent years between 1990 and 2020, with a growth of 4 million that is from 11 million to 15 million.

The Retail sector jobs also show a high rate of increase in the years between 1990 and 2020, the growth of 5 million, that is from10 million to around 15 million. While, the Manufacturing sector's downfall started from the year around 1991. The total downfall is around 7 million, this is from 20 million to around 13 million.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response identifies some key features, such as the growth in the Healthcare and Retail sectors and the decline in Manufacturing. However, the overview is weak; it focuses on specific years rather than identifying the broader trends across the 60-year period. The report lacks a comprehensive comparison of all four sectors, and the data selection is somewhat fragmented. To improve, you should provide a clearer summary of the overall trends (e.g., which sectors grew and which declined) and ensure all four sectors are integrated into a cohesive narrative rather than listing them in isolated sentences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. Phrases like 'Whereas coming to' are informal and awkward. While the paragraphing is present, the transition between ideas is mechanical. To achieve a higher band, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' 'Conversely') to connect your points more fluidly and improve the overall flow of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'records' and 'growth.' There are also some minor issues with word choice and phrasing, such as 'the data in the year 2020' and 'Whereas coming to.' To improve, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'experienced a downward trend,' or 'remained stable.' Avoid informal conversational fillers at the start of sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the information about the number of jobs' (unnecessary 'the'), 'from10 million' (spacing error), and 'that is from 20 million' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction is often repetitive. To improve, focus on reducing minor errors and varying your sentence structure by using more complex clauses to describe the data, which will help demonstrate better control over grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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