Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph give information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy manufacture agriculture retail in the US economy between 1960 to 2020.

But in 1960 the economy of manufacturing retail agriculture and healthcare is between 2 to 5, million as time passed the number is increasing in 1980. We can see a huge bump in any economy it increases from 5 million USD to US$10 million but in 20s the number is going down untouched again US$3 million

In 2020 the economy from manufacturing retail agriculture healthcare remains consistent and no touch highest number like between 0 to US$5 million it shows significant drops in US economy.

But overall the US economy is one of the fastest growing economy in the world and now it touched 35 million US dollar now. In 90s the economy is too much growing because people did not move on technology. They do manufacturing retail agriculture and healthcare but now everyone is move on to new GEN technology and using different businesses to support US economy .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to accurately report the data presented in the graph. You have not clearly identified the four sectors, and the figures mentioned (e.g., '35 million US dollar') do not align with the provided data. The description of trends is confusing and lacks a clear overview of the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing or the growth in healthcare. To improve, you must carefully extract specific data points from the graph and describe the trends (increases, decreases, or stability) for each sector individually rather than making general, inaccurate statements about the US economy as a whole.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there are paragraphs, the progression of ideas is disjointed, and the connection between sentences is often unclear. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as the abrupt transition 'But in 1960'. The lack of clear referencing makes it difficult for the reader to follow which sector is being discussed at any given time. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your observations logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'number', 'economy', and 'going down'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'no touch highest number' and 'everyone is move on to new GEN technology'. The use of 'US dollar' is inappropriate here as the graph measures the number of jobs, not currency. To reach a higher band, you should use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a sharp decline', or 'accounted for'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement ('The graph give'), tense inconsistencies ('the number is increasing in 1980'), and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and the lack of proper punctuation makes the text difficult to read. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that your verbs match the time frame of the data (past tense for historical data), and using articles and prepositions correctly. Proofreading for basic errors like 'in 20s' instead of 'in the 2000s' is essential.

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