Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four portions of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The line chart gives the information about the proportion of economy in jobs of manufacturing,retail,agricultural and healthcare respectively. Accordance with the line bar in 1960 the economy rate was highest in the job of manufacturing lowest was healthcare.While retail and agriculture remained moderate.In 1980 the manufacturing jobs saw a great rise in economy sector like the rise of retail jobs.Agriculture and healthcare saw a great fall with under 10. In the year of 2000 the manufacturing jobs saw a decline. the same year retail and agriculture saw a great rise in the economy sector. In 2020 the manufactring jobs continue to fall.The other two jobs gain slight rise in like retail and agriculture. In conclusion the number of manufacturing jobs fluctuate throughout `1960 to 2020 . in the fields of Healthcare and agriculturesaw a great rise in jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the four sectors, but the analysis is inaccurate and lacks clarity. For instance, the claim that manufacturing jobs saw a 'great rise' in 1980 contradicts typical data trends for this period, and the description of the data is often vague (e.g., 'under 10'). The overview is missing, as the conclusion provided does not effectively summarise the main trends or significant changes over the 60-year period. The report fails to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors, instead listing them in a disjointed manner. To improve, focus on identifying the overall trends—such as the decline of manufacturing versus the growth of service-based sectors—and use specific data points to support these observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks logical progression and effective paragraphing. The text is presented as a series of disconnected sentences rather than a cohesive report. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices (e.g., 'In conclusion', 'While'), they are often used incorrectly or do not help the flow of ideas. The referencing is unclear, and the lack of proper paragraph structure makes the information difficult to follow. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors with similar trends, and use linking words more naturally to connect ideas within and between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'rise', 'fall', and 'jobs'. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'portions of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy' and 'economy rate' when referring to job numbers. Some terms are used incorrectly, such as 'line bar' (which is a contradiction) and 'moderate' to describe retail and agriculture without clear context. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'gradual increase', or 'remained stable', and ensure collocations are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'in the job of manufacturing'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. There are no complex structures attempted, which limits the potential for a higher score. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensure proper punctuation, and practice using complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions to link ideas more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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