Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph demonstrate information related to the number of jobs in millions in in four sectors of economy including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1060 and 2020.
Overall manufacturing is on the top of all. Meanwhile retail shows a constant increase over the years. While agricultural sector is decreasing as the years moves onward. On the other hand the healthcare department is rising over the time.
The jobs in manufacturing are 15 millions in 1960 then rises to 20 millions in 1980 and then starts reducing after1980 and reached upto 13 millions in 2020. The retail opportunities are slightly higher than five millions in 1960 and then there is a straight line increase and becomes 10 millions in 1980 and 15 millions in 2000 after this the reatail not incredible increases and reaches a little above to 15 millions in 2020.
Additionally in 1960 agriculture work is upto 2.5 millions and then grew up to 5 millions in 1980 and then gives off it's peak above to 15 millions in 2020.
I'm conclusion,the manufacturing is going on the top of all. Retail and healthcare is growing over the years. Meanwhile agriculture is lower of all.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state agriculture grew to 15 million by 2020, whereas the graph shows it remaining at a very low level throughout the period. Additionally, the description of manufacturing trends is confusing, and the summary of healthcare is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data to avoid factual errors, and focus on highlighting the most significant trends rather than listing every data point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Meanwhile' and 'On the other hand' used to connect ideas that do not always contrast logically. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the summary contradicts the earlier body text. Improving the variety and precision of linking words will help the flow of your writing significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'grew', 'rising', and 'reducing'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'gives off it's peak' and 'reatail not incredible increases', which hinder clarity. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure correct spelling of key terms like 'retail'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('The given graph demonstrate'), incorrect prepositions ('in in four sectors'), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors impact the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
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