Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph provides information regarding the number of jobs in four distinct categories about the economy of the USA between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing saw the biggest fluctuations, by contrast healthcare sector increased significantly throughout the period.
In manufacturing sector 15 millions jobs in 1960, before surging to 20 millions in 1980, then considerably dipping around to 17 million in 2000, and continued to follow the same trajectory till 2020 approximately at 13 million. The number of jobs in retail sector was around 6 million in 1960, before taking a sharp rise to 10 million in 1980, then rose again to 15 million in 2000, before slightly increase to 16 million in 2020.
The healthcare jobs were at 2 million in 1960, then rose marginally to 5 million, before steeply rise to nearly 11 million in 2000, and continued to follow the same trend, consequently more than 15 million jobs were created in 2020. The agricultural jobs were at 6 million before plummeting to 3 million in 1980, then levelled off in 2000, before marginally dip to 2 million in 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. The overview is clear and highlights the main contrast between the manufacturing and healthcare sectors. However, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise; for example, stating '15 millions jobs' (plural error) and 'around to 17 million' (awkward phrasing). While the main features are selected, the analysis could be more analytical by grouping trends more effectively rather than listing each sector chronologically. The summary is sufficient, but more precise comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals would elevate the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'by contrast', and 'before' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between sentences within paragraphs can feel repetitive. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors that showed growth versus those that declined, rather than dedicating a paragraph to each sector individually. This would create a more cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, including terms like 'fluctuations', 'surging', 'plummeting', and 'levelled off'. However, there are recurring errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'before slightly increase' (should be 'before a slight increase') and 'before steeply rise' (should be 'before a steep rise'). These errors indicate a lack of precision in using word forms. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality. Common issues include missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'), incorrect verb forms ('before slightly increase'), and pluralization errors ('15 millions jobs'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles when describing numerical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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