Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The renderd line graph illustrates the numerous jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between the time span of 160 and 2020. The data has been transformed into numbers.

Strikingly, an upward trend could be observed in case of retail job while inverse could be seen in case of healthcare line.

A closure examination of the data reveals that , an upward trend could be observed in retail job , in year 1960 , it inclined rapidly till the year 2000 and observed at 15 jobs. After that , it rose rapidly upto the given time period and seen at 16 jobs. Notably, as far as agriculture is concerned , it has increased slightly from year 1960 till 1980 and observed at 5 jobs in this line. Furthermore, a rapid incline could be seen upto the given time period.

Shifting to the later half of the data , as far as healthcare is concerned , it declined rapidly from 1960 to 1980 and observed at 3 jobs. Considerably, then it remained stable till the year 2000 with only 3 jobs.Afterwards , then it showed a slight decline upto the given time period . Moreover , as far as manufacturing line is concerned , it increased gradually till the year 1980 and observed at 20 jobs then it declined rapidly till the end of year 2020 and observed at 13 jobs .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies some key trends, but the analysis is hindered by inaccuracies. For instance, the claim that healthcare declined from 1960 to 1980 and then remained stable is a misinterpretation of the data trends. Furthermore, the overview is weak; it merely states that trends exist without highlighting the most significant features, such as which sector ended as the highest or lowest. The data reporting is inconsistent, and the lack of precision in describing the trends makes it difficult for the reader to follow the main features of the graph. To improve, focus on identifying the most prominent changes and comparing the sectors more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Considerably, then it remained' and 'Afterwards, then it showed' are awkward and disrupt the flow of the text. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs feels repetitive due to the reliance on similar sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use transition signals, they are not always employed with the flexibility required for higher bands. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use the word 'observed' and 'jobs' in a way that sounds unnatural, such as 'observed at 15 jobs'. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'renderd' (spelling) and 'closure examination' (should be 'closer'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends with precision; for example, using 'inclined' or 'incline' as a noun or verb in this context is often inaccurate. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider variety of verbs and adverbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', or 'plummeted', and ensure correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect article usage ('in case of retail job'), punctuation errors (spaces before commas), and awkward phrasing ('the numerous jobs in four sectors of economy'). Some sentences are grammatically incomplete or confusing, such as 'the inverse could be seen in case of healthcare line'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from achieving a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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