Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The number of employment opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020 has been depicted by the line graph.
In an Overall, manufacturing was a main sector of employment whereas, agriculture was least preferable sector among Americans during the period of time. Retail and healthcare sector was getting popularity with the time.
It can be noticed that in 1960, 3 millions people were working in healthcare sector and approximately 6 millions Americans were employed from agriculture and retail. Most of people was working in manufacturing sector about 15 millions in the starting year. Between 1980 and 2020, the number of people who was employed in agriculture was almost remained same 4millions.
Moving further, retail and healthcare sector was growing sharply during the period of time and in 2020 it reached figure of 15 millions which was same of both sectors. However, In 1980, manufacturing was main sector, 20 millions people was working in this sector, this figure shows a rapid decrease between 2000 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is slightly awkward in phrasing ('In an Overall') and lacks a clear, concise summary of the most significant trends. While the data points are generally accurate, the description of the trends is sometimes imprecise, such as stating agriculture 'almost remained same' when it actually showed a slight decline. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences, such as the cross-over points or the stark contrast between the growth in service sectors and the decline in manufacturing, rather than just listing individual sector trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused, such as 'In an Overall' and 'Moving further'. The progression of ideas is logical, but the transitions between sentences feel a bit disjointed. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the figures for 2020. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would help the flow of the response and make the relationship between the data points more explicit.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'least preferable sector' instead of 'smallest sector' or 'sector with the lowest employment'. The repetition of 'sector' and 'people' makes the writing feel somewhat limited. To improve, you should aim to use more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'soared', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated') and use more precise terminology to describe economic data, such as 'workforce' or 'employment figures'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Most of people was working', 'number of people who was employed') and article usage (e.g., 'in healthcare sector'). While there is an attempt to use complex sentence structures, these are often marred by errors. The punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction needs more attention to ensure accuracy. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural/singular nouns will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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