Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing started with highest but steep down with a rise in between. Agriculture showed the trend to decrease the employment numbers. The two other sectors, retail and agriculture, presented a significant growth from the beginning of the duration to the end.

In the year of 1960, manufacturing started with the highest number of jobs in US which was 15 million with a rise to 20 million in 1980. In the following decades, it decreased to around 12,5 million in 2020. Jobs in agriculture in 1960 was slightly higher than 5 million. Then it showed gradual decrease in following decades.

Although retail and healthcare started with a comperatively small number of jobs approximately 5 million and 2.5 million respectively, they tent to grow over time significantly and became the largest employment sectors in US at the end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. You have selected key features and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the starting points and the final rankings. However, the report is slightly unbalanced; the description of the manufacturing sector is a bit confusing, as you mention a 'steep down' followed by a rise, which is not clearly supported by the data provided. Additionally, there is a minor error in the overview where you mention 'retail and agriculture' as showing significant growth, when the graph clearly shows agriculture declining. More careful proofreading of your summary against the data would improve the accuracy of your reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'In the following decades', 'Although', and 'respectively' to link information. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes a bit mechanical. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow your analysis. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is more seamless.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment numbers', 'gradual decrease', and 'employment sectors'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'steep down' (which should be 'steep decline') and 'tent to grow' (which should be 'tended to grow'). You also have a minor punctuation error with the decimal point ('12,5 million'), which should be written as '12.5 million' in English academic writing. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, incorporating more precise collocations and avoiding these small errors would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the 'Although...' sentence in the final paragraph. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. For example, 'manufacturing started with highest' is missing an article ('the highest'), and 'Jobs in agriculture... was' should be 'were' to agree with the plural subject. There are also tense inconsistencies, such as 'they tent to grow' instead of 'tended to grow'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.