Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors namely of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the United States of America from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that manufacturing was the highest while, agriculture was the least. Retail and healthcare were both similar in last year.
In 1960, the manufacturing was fall in starting period of time into 15 million jobs, the next year this dramatically increasing in 20 million jobs and in 2000 this fall dramatically in 20 million jobs to 16 million.
Retail and healthcare, the least in starting period of time and they rise subsequently in 1980. retail was rose 6 million jobs to 16 million jobs and healthcare was 3 million jobs to 16 million jobs respectively. Retail and healthcare both are rose in 2020 and the both jobs are similar.
Agriculture was rose in starting period of time and suddenly this jobs start to falling in 1980 to 2020 year. the 6 million jobs in starting in 1960. After, fall to 3 million jobs in 1980 and 2000. Agriculture jobs was almost fall in 2020 to reach at 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies some key trends, such as the general rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the description of manufacturing trends is contradictory, stating it 'fell' to 15 million and then 'dramatically increased' to 20 million, which does not align clearly with standard graph interpretation. Furthermore, the summary lacks a clear overview of the most significant trends, and some data points are misstated. To improve, ensure that the main features are clearly highlighted and that the data cited accurately reflects the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'in starting period of time' and 'the next year'. The logical progression between sentences is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing was fall' instead of 'manufacturing fell' and 'the both jobs are similar'. The student relies on basic verbs like 'rise' and 'fall' without much variation or precision. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of control over word forms and the misuse of terminology (e.g., 'starting period of time') hinder the flow of the writing. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and adverbs would significantly improve the quality of your response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with verb tenses (e.g., 'manufacturing was fall', 'retail was rose'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the correct use of past tense verbs and passive voice for describing trends, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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