Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the figure of jobs in four sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020. At a glance, it can be seen that healthcare sectors jobs were decline over the years.
Regards manufacturing sector, the number of jobs were 15millions in 1960 it steadily increased to 20millions, before decreased gradually in 2020. Retail sector jobs were seen effective employment rate throughout the decades, it increased substantially 6millions to 15millions from 1960 to 2000. Then the figure reached nearly 15.5millions in 2020.
Furthermore, the proportion of employment in healthcare was 6millions in 1960, it marginally fell to 3millions in 1980, then it dropped to 2millions in 2020. Eventually, the job growth in agriculture sector was approximately 2.5millions which slightly increased in 1980 5millions, then it shows a significantly increased in the last 2020.
Overall, the number of employment rate in agriculture sector was makes up dramatically, whereas manufacturing and healthcare sectors dedicated fell over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies based on the provided graph. For example, you state that healthcare jobs declined, whereas the graph shows a clear upward trend. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is confusing and misinterprets the data points. While you attempt to identify main features, the lack of accuracy in reporting the data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your statements with the visual data and provide a clearer overview that accurately reflects the trends shown.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Regards manufacturing sector' and 'Eventually, the job growth'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate reporting of data. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they do not always create a smooth flow between sentences. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help your ideas connect more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, often relying on basic structures to describe trends. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word-choice errors, such as 'dedicated fell' and 'effective employment rate', which do not convey the intended meaning clearly. You attempt to use some specific terminology, but it is often applied incorrectly. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and adverbs to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'sharply') and ensure that your collocations are natural and appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of jobs were 15millions'), incorrect tense usage, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'the number of employment rate in agriculture sector was makes up dramatically'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve your writing.
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