Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph provides information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
It can be analyzed that the number of jobs in the Retail and Healthcare sectors consistently increased. In contrast, a downfall can be seen in the number of jobs in the Agriculture sector with a constant phase from 1980 to 2000. Fluctuations can be witnessed in the number of jobs in the Manufacturing sector.
Initiating from 5 million jobs in 1960, the Retail and Agriculture sectors showed opposite trends. The number of jobs in the Retail sector rose consistently, reaching approximately 15 million in 2020, whereas the number of Agriculture sector jobs sank till over 2 million in 2020.
The Healthcare sector remained on a boom and never looked back, rising from 2 million jobs in 1960 to finally over 15 million jobs in 2020. Being in a great demand in the initial years, the Manufacturing sector offered 15 million jobs. The number then fluctuated and then remained going downhill till over 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it lists trends rather than synthesizing the most significant features, such as the fact that Healthcare and Retail overtook Manufacturing by the end of the period. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the description of the Manufacturing sector is slightly confusing, as it describes it as 'going downhill' despite it remaining the second-highest sector in 2020. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors rather than just listing individual trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'whereas', and 'initiating from' are used to link ideas. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, but the use of referencing could be more sophisticated to avoid repetitive sentence structures. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information flows in a way that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'fluctuations', 'consistently', and 'witnessed'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'remained on a boom', 'never looked back', and 'sank till over 2 million'. These phrases are slightly informal or imprecise for an academic report. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, more precise academic vocabulary (e.g., 'experienced a significant surge' instead of 'remained on a boom') would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'The number then fluctuated and then remained going downhill', which is awkward phrasing. Additionally, 'Being in a great demand' should be 'Being in great demand'. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the punctuation is generally correct. The student demonstrates a reasonable command of complex structures, but the frequency of minor errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on more natural phrasing and avoiding redundant words would enhance the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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