Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph displays the jobs in four different sectors in US between 1960 snd 2020.
Overall, there is an increase in job for two sectors which include Healthcare and Retail. However, the job market for Manufacturing sector increases till 1980 reaching maximum number of 20 million in jobs but then there is a decrease in the trend from 1980 to 2020 reaching minimum number of approximately 13 million.
As far as the Agriculture sector is concerned it can be observed that there is an overall trend of less jobs from 1960 to 2020 reaching its minimum number of jobs to approximately 2.5 million. The two growing sectors reach the maximum number of jobs in 2020 which is approximately 16 million.
In general it can be seen that overall the number of jobs available for people of US have been the same in 2020 compared to that in 1960. However, the only change was that the sectors which were providing jobs were varying over the time span of 40 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview and identifies key trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, you mention that the two growing sectors reach 16 million in 2020, but you do not specify which sectors these are, which is a significant omission. Additionally, the data interpretation is slightly inaccurate; the graph shows four distinct lines, but your grouping of them is vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are clearly linked to their respective categories and that the comparison between sectors is more precise and analytical rather than just descriptive.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'As far as... is concerned', 'In general it can be seen'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when you refer to 'the two growing sectors' without explicitly naming them in that sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that every reference is unambiguous would enhance the flow and cohesion of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing like 'increase in job' and 'reaching maximum number'. There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs available for people of US' instead of 'jobs in the US economy'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'remained stagnant'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'jobs in four different sectors in US' (missing 'the'), '1960 snd 2020' (typo), and 'number of jobs... have been the same' (subject-verb agreement error with 'number'). The punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence variety is limited. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and using articles correctly. Incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, would also demonstrate better control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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