Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph displays the jobs in four different sectors in US between 1960 snd 2020.
Overall, there is an increase in job for two sectors which include Healthcare and Retail. However, the job market for Manufacturing sector increases till 1980 reaching a number of 20 million in jobs but then there is a decrease in the trend from 1980 to 2020 reaching a number of approximately 13 million.
As far as the Agriculture sector is concerned it can be observed that there is an overall trend of less jobs from 1960 to 2020 reaching its minimum number of jobs to approximately 2.5 million. The two growing sectors reach the maximum number of jobs in 2020 which is approximately 16 million.
In general it can be seen that overall the number of jobs available for the people of US have been the same in 2020 compared to that in 1960. However, the only change was that the sectors which were providing jobs were varying over the time span of 40 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the two growing sectors is vague, grouping them together without specifying their individual trajectories or distinct starting points. The overview is present but lacks precision, particularly in the final paragraph where the claim that job numbers are the same in 2020 as in 1960 is not clearly supported by the data provided. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific data points and ensure that comparisons between sectors are more explicit and analytical rather than just descriptive.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'As far as... is concerned' and 'In general it can be seen' are used to transition, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using more varied linking words to show contrast or cause-and-effect relationships. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to avoid a 'list-like' feel.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for the description of trends such as 'increase', 'decrease', and 'reaching its minimum'. However, the range is limited and somewhat repetitive. There are minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job for two sectors' instead of 'jobs in two sectors' and 'less jobs' instead of 'fewer jobs'. To improve, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure correct usage of quantifiers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'the jobs in four different sectors in US' lacks the definite article 'the' before 'US'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'varying over the time span of 40 years' (the graph covers 60 years). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure could be more varied to demonstrate better control over complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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